too cool for drool

I've mentioned my No Bodily Fluids rule before. And, technically, this post breaks it, but I think with one of the least harmful of fluids.

Saliva.

I produce a lot of saliva. It's one of the reasons I don't like going to the dentist - we have to spend a lot of time with the suction tool. After one particularly long and noisy sucking session, the hygienist informed me that I have very viscous saliva. This amazing saliva make-up protects my teeth against cavities, with the small downside of creating more plaque.

The problem with my overactive viscous saliva is my unrelated problem of not being able to breath well through my nose. So, when I sleep, I am a mouth breather. Combine this with the zealous saliva glands and ... well, nights get soggy.

When I was in sixth grade, I got new green flannel sheets. I was so excited that I used them before washing them. One day I got to school and one of my friends said, "Why do you have green stuff on your cheek?" What? Huh? Green? Sure enough, there were a few green smudges on my cheek and the corners of my mouth. I washed it off and thought nothing more of it. The next day it happened again. When someone else pointed it out to me, I realized my drool-seeped green pillow was rubbing off on me.

Jump to today. We got new sheets a few weeks ago. And I've now noticed that my pillow has bleach splotches all over the corners. You know, the corners where my head usually rests at night. I don't have experimental proof, but I'm pretty sure that the drool that protects me against cavities is also combining with toothpaste residue in my mouth at night and bleaching my pillow out.

I suppose I'd better rinse better.