Sunday, July 6, 2014

mom and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

I was reading journal entries from last September, and found one that was particularly exhausting. A detailed account of a stressful day with the kids: Genghis, 3, Xena, 18 months, Isis, 2 months. It read like "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day". So much so, that I spent an hour tonight re-writing it in Alexander's style.

So, for your enjoyment, here is "Mom and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day".

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I went to sleep 2 hours ago, and now it’s time to wake up. And when I got out of bed this morning Genghis greeted me with a very stinky diaper and just when I got him changed and was ready for a quiet read on the couch Baby Isis woke up crying and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

***

At breakfast Genghis had a hot meal served to him and Xena had a hot meal served to her but for my breakfast all I got was cold leftovers after nursing Isis.

I think I’ll send my kids to boarding school.

***

In the morning, Isis was content on her play mat. Genghis was happy building with Legos. Xena screamed about everything. She took Genghis’s toys and he took hers in revenge. I said, If you guys don’t stop it right now you’re going straight back to bed. No one even answered.

I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

***

At morning naptime Isis slept much better than 18-month old Xena.

When I thought Xena had settled down I was about to play games with Genghis but then Xena started wailing nonstop. Who needs naptime? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

***

I could tell because just when I got everyone settled outside for fresh air (and some distance), someone started using a jackhammer next door. Xena protested loudly about the noise.

You’re going back to your nap, I said to Xena. This time you will stay there until I come and get you or until you fall out of bed and land in boarding school.

***

I drew 10 balloons with sidewalk chalk for Genghis and then I felt guilty about Xena and we went inside to get her. Guess who was almost asleep when I opened the door?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

***

That’s what it was because after lunch I tried to put Isis in a back carrier to make life easier but found it just made her cry. Try again next week and we’ll fix it, I told myself.

Next week, I replied, I’m sending my kids to boarding school.

***

By 1pm I put all 3 children to bed and was ready for a break but none of the children were asleep and Genghis and Xena screamed and laughed for an hour and dumped their water bottles all over their beds and on the floor and

***

when I came into their room and saw the mess I scolded them for being wet and awake and I sent Genghis to my bed for a nap, spending the rest of my nap time soothing Isis in her bouncy chair and listening to Xena cry.

I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, I told everybody. No one even answered.

***

So then everyone got up from naps. Xena, Isis, and I watched part of Pride and Prejudice together during snack time. But Genghis was a whining disaster. Motherhood may make you love your kids but it can’t make you always like being with them.

***

When Abe came home he was very stressed out about dissertation revisions that were due Tuesday. Xena brought a dump truck full of sand into the house and was careful as could be except when she dumped it into the bathroom I had just cleaned. And while the kids got in more trouble, I think I called the boarding house.

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

***

We had frozen Chinese stir fry for dinner and I hate packaged food.

Isis fussed all evening and I hate fussing.

***

When I sent the kids to bed, they didn’t want to sleep and I found Genghis and Xena an hour later totally naked in Xena’s crib and then everyone cried for a long time.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

My mom says some days are like that.

***


Even at boarding school.