So, for your enjoyment, here is "Mom and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day".
********
I went to sleep 2 hours ago, and now it’s time to wake up.
And when I got out of bed this morning Genghis greeted me with a very stinky
diaper and just when I got him changed and was ready for a quiet read on the
couch Baby Isis woke up crying and I could tell it was going to be a terrible,
horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast Genghis had a hot meal served to him and Xena
had a hot meal served to her but for my breakfast all I got was cold leftovers
after nursing Isis.
I think I’ll send my kids to boarding school.
In the morning, Isis was content on her play mat. Genghis
was happy building with Legos. Xena screamed about everything. She took Genghis’s
toys and he took hers in revenge. I said, If you guys don’t stop it right now
you’re going straight back to bed. No one even answered.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no
good, very bad day.
At morning naptime Isis slept much better than 18-month
old Xena.
When I thought Xena had settled down I was about to play
games with Genghis but then Xena started wailing nonstop. Who needs naptime? I
could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I could tell because just when I got everyone settled outside
for fresh air (and some distance), someone started using a jackhammer next
door. Xena protested loudly about the noise.
You’re going back to your nap, I said to Xena. This time
you will stay there until I come and get you or until you fall out of bed and
land in boarding school.
I drew 10 balloons with sidewalk chalk for Genghis and
then I felt guilty about Xena and we went inside to get her. Guess who was
almost asleep when I opened the door?
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That’s what it was because after lunch I tried to put Isis
in a back carrier to make life easier but found it just made her cry. Try again
next week and we’ll fix it, I told myself.
Next week, I replied, I’m sending my kids to boarding
school.
By 1pm I put all 3 children to bed and was ready for a
break but none of the children were asleep and Genghis and Xena screamed and
laughed for an hour and dumped their water bottles all over their beds and on
the floor and
when I came into their room and saw the mess I scolded
them for being wet and awake and I sent Genghis to my bed for a nap, spending the
rest of my nap time soothing Isis in her bouncy chair and listening to Xena cry.
I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day,
I told everybody. No one even answered.
***
So then everyone got up from naps. Xena, Isis, and I
watched part of Pride and Prejudice together during snack time. But Genghis was
a whining disaster. Motherhood may make you love your kids but it can’t make
you always like being with them.
When Abe came home he was very stressed out about dissertation
revisions that were due Tuesday. Xena brought a dump truck full of sand into
the house and was careful as could be except when she dumped it into the
bathroom I had just cleaned. And while the kids got in more trouble, I think I
called the boarding house.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
We had frozen Chinese stir fry for dinner and I hate packaged
food.
Isis fussed all evening and I hate fussing.
***
When I sent the kids to bed, they didn’t want to sleep
and I found Genghis and Xena an hour later totally naked in Xena’s crib and
then everyone cried for a long time.
It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
My mom says some days are like that.
Even at boarding school.
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5 comments:
This is so awesome. It's been a long time since I read the book, but the tone of your post was an exact match of my memory of the book.
Perfect.
I've missed reading your literary genius. Thanks for taking time to write and share.
I love this!
Have I mentioned that I think it's hilarious you haven't made a post since the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?
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