Tuesday, November 15, 2011

saturday is not a special day

In recent weeks I have read not 1, not 2, but 3 blog posts from various friends/family about "perfect Saturdays". While I immensely enjoy all of these people's blogs (and the people themselves), I feel obligated to take a official stance against "perfect Saturdays".

Don't worry. It's not you, it's me.

You see, I'm on the road to recovery from Perfect Saturday Syndrome. The syndrome reached its height in Autumn 2011 (I continue to blame at least part of this on pregnancy hormones). During this time, I started every Saturday morning with a vision of what the perfect day would look like. My vision often included a leisurely homemade breakfast, a round of intense but efficient house-cleaning, a day trip to a beautiful new sight, a long afternoon nap for Genghis, delicious dinner (cooked in the wonderfully clean kitchen), and a relaxing evening with good entertainment and dessert.

But the vision never seemed to take shape. Food burned, Genghis screeched, Abe (or I) had overflow work from the week, destinations were lame. Part of the problem was that there are some things that are just out of our control and we have to deal with that uncertainty. Part of the problem was that Abe and I have fundamentally different views on what elements make up a good Saturday. And it turns out that those two problems don't work particularly well together. Abe and I can usually come to a mutually agreed-upon plan for the day through good communication beforehand. But when the unexpected messes with the plan, we are totally out of sync. My instinctual response to the unexpected is usually exactly the opposite of Abe's response. My feelings get hurt, Abe feels unnecessarily blamed for everything, etc, etc, etc.

After too many Saturdays that required therapy sessions, I have decided to give up on perfect Saturdays. Every Saturday is different. Every Saturday has its own set of demands - baggage from the week, scheduled commitments, to-do lists to stay on top of life. And every Saturday has its own set of opportunities - good weather to take advantage of, bad weather perfect for warm drinks, unexpected free time, children sleeping in late.

So I'm going to relegate Saturday back to the ranks of the other days of the week. I will expect Saturdays to be just as perfect as Tuesdays, or Thursdays.

(And I secretly hope this will make for more perfect Saturdays in the long run, but I'm not supposed to think about that too much because it probably would ruin the recovery plan.)


Dawn said...

I'd say, in your busy life, that a perfect day, any day, is when the three of you get to spend some quality time together...doing whatever or nothing. And I'm betting you get some of those in.

Janssen said...

Ha! I totally suffer from these same things.

And yet, I was one of the ones writing a perfect Saturday post (know that the Saturday in question happened almost by accident, not as the result of excellent planning. Also, my house was a disaster)).

amydear said...

Excellent plan. I agree with you totally. But when you lower your expectations, the perfect Saturday becomes, if you can believe it, EVEN MORE PERFECT.

Sarah said...

So you're saying my blog title was unoriginal? Just so you know, my Tuesdays and Thursdays are just as perfect.

Margaret said...

Yeah, I totally hear you. How does it happen?

candice said...

I can relate to just about every single thing you said, and I'm so glad I am not the only one that has a disconnect with their husband over what the 'perfect ' saturday looks like (for us it is now the 'perfect' Thursday, but that is besides the point)!

... and a belated congratulations to you and ABe on the upcoming arrival of number 2!