Wednesday, December 22, 2010

goldigong and the three laptops

Once upon a time there were three laptops, a Papa Laptop, a Mama Laptop and a Baby Laptop. One day, the three laptops sat down to compute. “This wireless network is too slow!” said Papa Laptop. “This wireless network is too slow!” said Mama Laptop. “This wireless network is too slow!” said Baby Laptop. “Let’s go play Mine Sweeper,” said Mama Laptop. “When we come back, our wireless network will be just right.”

Along came GoldiGong. She walked into the office. She saw three laptops hibernating. “This laptop is too slow,” said GoldiGong when she tried to boot up Mama Laptop, which was over 6 years old. “This laptop is faster,“ said GoldiGong of Baby Laptop, which was really a mini notebook. “This laptop is even faster!” said GoldiGong of Papa Laptop, whose tagline was “The Most Powerful 15-in Gaming Laptop in the Universe”. And she restarted Papa Laptop for hours on end, just to admire how fast it really was.

Papa Laptop

Then GoldiGong began to surf the web on all three laptops. “This screen is too small,” said GoldiGong, squinting to see the GMail login box on Baby Laptop’s 10-in screen. “This screen is too big,” said GoldiGong, consumed in the glowing aura of the 15-in Papa Laptop, “it will probably make me depressed if I leave it on too long.” “This screen is just right!” said GoldiGong of Mama Laptop. Then CRASH went the Mama Laptop’s hard drive and GoldiGong had to reboot.
Mama Laptop

GoldiGong felt tired. She picked up the laptops to go into the bedroom. “This laptop is too heavy,” said GoldiGong, as she hefted 9 lbs of Papa Laptop . “This laptop is still too heavy,” said GoldiGong of Mama Laptop, “and it hasn’t really worked at all.” “This laptop is very light!” said GoldiGong of Baby Laptop, which came in at just a few pounds. And she skipped up the stairs with Baby Laptop to join the other laptops in the bedroom.
Baby Laptop

GoldiGong snuggled into bed to fall asleep while watching YouTube videos. “This battery is almost dead,” said GoldiGong as Mama Laptop’s comfortably-sized screen switched into low power mode after only a few minutes. “And this battery isn’t much better,” said Goldilocks as Papa Laptop burned away on his Intel Core i7 processor. “But this battery lasts forever – or, at least long enough to watch Pride & Prejudice (the 1995 version).” And she fell asleep listening to Darcy and Elizabeth engage in witty verbal exchanges.

The three Laptops came back from playing Mine Sweeper. “Someone’s been booting me up,” said Papa Laptop. “Someone’s been surfing on my web browser,” said Mama Laptop. “Someone’s been toting me around,” said Baby Laptop. “And someone’s been watching Pride & Prejudice on YouTube!” said all three laptops. “And here she is!”

GoldiGong woke up. She saw three angry Laptops looking at her. She looked back at them and said, “Papa Laptop, you’re too big and bulky to really be called a laptop. Mama Laptop, you’ve aged gracefully but your time is really past. And Baby Laptop, you have some respectable features but you’re just too small to work with.” So GoldiGong jumped out of bed and ran to the local computer store to buy something that better suited her needs.

Unfortunately, this is a fairy tale, so I'll just have to work with the computing power we currently have.

(btw, we don’t own Papa Laptop – he’s a rental from the University that Abe’s using for data processing)

*Text adapted from


Jen said...

Oh man, I totally thought you were going to announce the arrival of a new laptop! Some fairy tales do come true...

Rita said...

I hope none of those show up at our house next week. We already have one angry laptop; we don't need more!

Sarah Black said...

I'm with Jenny...I was getting excited for you. Maybe Santa will bring hope???

Dawn said...

Maybe if you believe in Santa....or TinkerBelle