lists: the placebo effect

This is what happens when the kids have long afternoon naps. I finish all of my "have to dos" for the day and then engage in my favorite household activity: making a list.

Today, it was a comprehensive list of all the disposable goods we use regularly in our house. Categories included: Spices & Seasonings; Pasta, Rice, and Beans; Canned Food; Baking; Snacks; Misc; Household; Paper goods; Cleaning; Bags; and Personal Care.

In theory, I will use this list to go through my house once a month to take stock and then make one big trip to the store (without kids) to pick up everything we need. Thus, we reduce last-minute trips to the store, better plan for household expenses, and stay within budget.

Ha.

It never really happens. I could show you approximately 15 different Excel spreadsheets I've made over the last 7 years, all trying to better organize our daily home purchases and thereby save money. My paid career is in evaluating programs to determine what impacts they have. And in light of loads of longitudinal data on this particular "program", I have to admit that no list has ever really saved me money.

I mean, let's just face up to the hard truth here. The trick to saving money is simply saying no to whatever you're about to put in your cart at the store.

Which makes me think that the reason I like to make the lists is because it makes me feel like, even if I have a hard time saying no to the 48 pack of double roll toilet paper on sale for just $8.99 (wow, life is really that exciting sometimes), at least I'm really good at making a list. The list is a symbol of control. Sure, I might be overspending 50% on my household budget every month, but I have it written down, so there.

what's worse than filing taxes?

Having to do it twice.

So please cheer me up by telling me about something as depressing as seeing a big fat tax return show up in your bank account, then realizing you forgot to claim some income on your original filing, and finally submitting an amended form with an even bigger, fatter check attached to it (coming out of my bank account, not going in).

At least I can cross off "TAXES" from my to-do list. And yes, I wrote in on my to-do list in all caps, just to emphasize how awful it really was.

the last to-do list

After having a long conversation with Abe tonight about what we want life to look like for the first few weeks after our baby is born, and after reading a friend's blog post about her first few weeks after after baby #8, I came to a conclusion.

I want to throw away my to-do lists.

At least for a few weeks (really, much longer than that and they'd probably have to put me on life-support or something).

What I really mean is that I really want to carve out some space after our baby comes for a break from life. Except that I know that life isn't going to really slow down for us. Genghis will still need the help and attention that he always needs. Plus we'll have this newborn that we'll be responsible for, and I have conveniently forgotten how demanding no sleep, breastfeeding, and soothing a crying infant can be.

So I don't want to have any false illusions that I can make this a blissful, stress-free, euphoric time.

But I do want to get rid of the non-essentials. Cereal for breakfast instead of pancakes. Laundry every other week instead of every week. Laying on the couch while Genghis plays on his own instead of picking another area in the house to de-clutter and re-organize.

The best way for me to think of this is to get rid of all my to-do lists. All I really have to do when this baby comes is meet the needs of myself and my family as they come, instead of planning, preparing, and proactively running our household. (Like I said, just for a few weeks, because I secretly really enjoy all of those p-words).

Of course, the best way for me to put aside my to-do lists is to make one final to-do list. Already on the list (you're surprised I've got one made?)...

- Make 1 month's worth of freezer dinners (done! and something to blog about later)
- Stock the pantry (done!)
- Organize the baby closet (done!)
- Get out the basic baby supplies (burp clothes, pacifiers, swaddles, bottles) and have them on hand
- Install both car seats
- Pack hospital bags and overnight babysitter bag for Genghis
- Deep clean the bathroom - I mean, nursery
- Renew our rental contract
- Finish taxes
- Make a double batch of bran muffins and freeze (assuming I can find space in the freezer)
- De-clutter the house and take a few loads of stuff out to the garage

I'm curious. Two questions.

#1. What sort of things would you put on a to-do list for this week if you wanted to get your home in as much order as possible? Thus, making room to take a few weeks off to spend your time with family (or another noble pursuit - reading good books, saving the world, watching Downton Abbey).

#2. Particularly for those who are father or mothers, what would you ideally have on hand to make the newborn stage as relaxing as possible for yourself? (some ideas: bubble bath, a fridge full of chocolate chip cookie dough, good audio books on demand.)